Another Mid-Life Complication

Yesterday we discussed how mid-life daters take the same unresolved attachments into their dating life the second time around as they did the first time, if they aren’t diligent in trying to understand how the family projection process led them to make those choices.

Mid-life dating, strange animal that it is, features another unique characteristic regarding the family projection process. The projection process from the nuclear family they established in their marriage also comes with them into their post-divorced life.

This injects a a couple unique wrinkles into mid-life dating 1) emotional baggage from previous relationships, and 2) blended family issues.

Emotional Baggage

As social creatures, human beings are affected by the emotional processes of all their relationships. Basically, hurt people hurt people, and unless we’re actively engaged in tending and healing our wounds, we carry them around with us unconsciously, affecting us and those around us.

In the mid-life dating pool, this means we’re not only carrying around our unresolved attachments from our families of origin, but from our broken nuclear family relationships, too. And so are the people we date–a quadruple whammy: unresolved attachment issues from two families of origin and two nuclear families, colliding in a potentially nuclear blast.

Fortunately, knowledge is power, and if you know and remain conscious of the patterns of your own family projection process, you can be thoughtful about how it may be impacting your new love life. If both you and your potential partner are doing this, you can navigate the unique realities a little more smoothly and skillfully together.

Blending Families

Blending families, a unique feature of new mid-life relationships, requires especially skillful navigation, due to the complex triangles that result. A family of five includes nine interlocking triangles. Put two families together and the number of interlocking triangles increases exponentially; the new family includes not only the new relationships but the old ones from our previous nuclear family relationships, the unresolved attachments of which remain active in our psyches. For a simple example of that reality, see my post titled “Dating Wisely 1.13.”

These are truly complex issues that require wisdom to navigate. If we’re diligent and thoughtful, we can draw on the emotional maturity that sometimes comes with age to help us think through the difficult dilemmas of the mid-life dating game.

Tomorrow we’ll move on to Dating Wisely Concept #10 which will address how these unresolved attachments stick with us, and what we can do about that.


Recommended Posts


  1. I got this website from my friend who informed me on the topic of this website and at the moment this time I
    am browsing this site and reading very informative posts
    at this place.

  2. It’s in point of fact a nice and useful piece of
    information. I am satisfied that you simply shared this helpful info with us.

    Please keep us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.

  3. I was curious if you ever thought of changing the structure of your
    blog? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say.
    But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better.
    Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or 2 images.
    Maybe you could space it out better?

    My site: wukong333 slot game

  4. This is very interesting, You are a very skilled blogger.

    I’ve joined your feed and look forward to seeking more of your wonderful post.

    Also, I have shared your site in my social networks!

    Feel free to surf to my web page: free download kiss918

  5. Greetings from California! I’m bored to tears at work so I decided to
    browse your blog on my iphone during lunch break.
    I enjoy the information you provide here and can’t wait to take a
    look when I get home. I’m surprised at how fast your blog loaded on my mobile ..
    I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyways, wonderful blog!

    My web blog; Burst Audio Earbuds Price,,

  6. Simply desire to say your article is as surprising.
    The clarity in your submit is just nice and i can think
    you are a professional on this subject. Well along with your permission allow me to grasp your feed to keep
    updated with coming near near post. Thank you a million and please keep up the
    rewarding work.

    my page – EcoCel

  7. I’ve been surfing on-line greater than 3 hours as of late, but I never discovered any fascinating
    article like yours. It is beautiful value enough for me.

    In my opinion, if all webmasters and bloggers made
    excellent content as you probably did, the net will likely be a lot more helpful than ever before.

    Also visit my web blog – download game 918kiss plus

  8. Spot on with this write-up, I absolutely believe this website needs a lot more attention. I’ll probably be back again to see
    more, thanks for the info!

    Here is my web blog; TactLine M1000

  9. Hello would you mind sharing which blog platform you’re working with?
    I’m going to start my own blog in the near future but I’m having
    a difficult time choosing between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal.
    The reason I ask is because your layout seems different then most blogs and I’m looking
    for something completely unique.
    P.S Sorry for being off-topic but I had to ask!

    Here is my page … 3win8 download

  10. Hi, i believe that i saw you visited my site thus i came
    to go back the choose?.I’m trying to find issues to
    enhance my website!I guess its adequate to make use of a few of your concepts!!

    Take a look at my site … Mega Arise

  11. I was just looking for this info for some time.
    After six hours of continuous Googleing, at last I got it in your site.

    I wonder what is the lack of Google strategy that do not rank this kind of informative websites in top of the list.
    Generally the top web sites are full of garbage.

    Feel free to visit my web-site

  12. Dead written subject material, thanks for selective information.

    Also visit my web page; Keto Lite

  13. You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be actually something which I think I would never understand.
    It seems too complicated and very broad for me. I’m looking forward for your next post, I will try to get the hang
    of it!

    Look into my webpage; Dentitox Pro Ingredients

  14. Howdy! I know this is kinda off topic however , I’d figured I’d
    ask. Would you be interested in trading links or maybe guest authoring a blog article or vice-versa?
    My website covers a lot of the same subjects as yours and I feel we could
    greatly benefit from each other. If you happen to be interested feel free to shoot me
    an email. I look forward to hearing from you!
    Great blog by the way!

    my web site:

  15. Right here is the perfect webpage for everyone who really wants
    to find out about this topic. You know a whole lot its almost tough to argue
    with you (not that I really will need to?HaHa). You certainly put a brand new spin on a topic which has been discussed for decades.
    Wonderful stuff, just excellent!

    My web blog Lion House Keto Review

  16. Some genuinely interesting information, well written and broadly
    speaking user friendly.

    Check out my site; Tru Vita CBD

  17. Hello, i believe that i saw you visited my blog so i got here to go back
    the favor?.I’m attempting to in finding issues
    to improve my site!I assume its adequate to make use of some
    of your ideas!!

    Stop by my site ::

  18. Wonderful paintings! That is the type of info that are meant
    to be shared across the web. Shame on Google for now not positioning this
    put up upper! Come on over and seek advice from my site .
    Thanks =)

    My web page;

  19. I like what you guys tend to be up too. This type of clever work and exposure!
    Keep up the amazing works guys I’ve added you guys to my own blogroll.

    my webpage … Vita Silk Lux

  20. Merely to follow up on the update of this topic on your site and would wish to let you know simply how much I
    loved the time you took to produce this helpful
    post. In the post, you really spoke of how to actually handle this matter with all convenience.
    It would be my pleasure to collect some more concepts from your web page and come as much as offer
    some others what I discovered from you. I appreciate your
    usual great effort.

    Look at my blog post; Quit Smoking CBD Gummies

  21. I don’t know if it’s just me or if perhaps everyone else
    experiencing problems with your blog. It looks like some of the text within your
    content are running off the screen. Can someone else please provide feedback and let me know if this is
    happening to them too? This could be a problem with my internet browser because I’ve had this happen before.

    Feel free to surf to my webpage: Pure Form Keto Pills

  22. Link exchange is nothing else except it is simply placing the other
    person’s blog link on your page at appropriate place and other person will also do same for you.

    My webpage – Keto Lite

  23. Some truly interesting information, well written and broadly user

    Visit my web site Essential Skin Cream;,

  24. I am really loving the theme/design of your site. Do you ever run into
    any browser compatibility problems? A few of my blog readers have complained about my website
    not working correctly in Explorer but looks great in Opera.
    Do you have any ideas to help fix this issue?

    my web-site ::

  25. I feel this is one of the most significant information for me.

    And i’m glad reading your article. But should remark on some common issues, The
    website style is wonderful, the articles is really excellent :D.
    Good job, cheers.

    My web blog … Skyline Drone X

  26. I seriously love your blog.. Excellent colors & theme.
    Did you create this website yourself? Please reply back as I?m
    planning to create my own personal website and want to know where you got this from or what
    the theme is called. Thank you!

    My blog ::

  27. Thank you for your entire work on this web page.
    My niece loves participating in investigation and it’s really easy to understand why.
    A lot of people hear all regarding the compelling ways you present vital strategies via the web blog and therefore improve contribution from
    visitors on this issue then our favorite child is actually becoming educated a whole lot.
    Take pleasure in the remaining portion of the year. You’re the one carrying out a good job.[X-N-E-W-L-I-N-S-P-I-N-X]I’m really
    inspired with your writing talents and also with the layout in your weblog.
    Is that this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself?
    Anyway keep up the excellent quality writing,
    it is rare to look a nice weblog like this one today.

    Stop by my web blog :: Ice Box Air Cooler Review

  28. Thank you a bunch for sharing this with all of us you actually
    recognize what you are talking approximately! Bookmarked.
    Kindly additionally talk over with my site =). We can have a hyperlink change contract between us

    my page – Lion House Keto BHB

  29. I was just seeking this information for some time. After six hours of continuous Googleing, finally I got
    it in your web site. I wonder what is the lack of Google strategy that don’t rank this kind of
    informative web sites in top of the list.
    Usually the top websites are full of garbage.

    Also visit my site – Claritox Pro

  30. Way cool! Some very valid points! I appreciate you writing this article and the rest of the website is really good.

    Stop by my web site

  31. After I initially commented I appear to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox
    and now whenever a comment is added I get four emails with the
    exact same comment. Is there a way you can remove me from that service?
    Many thanks!

  32. Some really grand work on behalf of the owner of this web site, absolutely great subject material.

    Here is my web site –

  33. Aw, this was a really good post. Finding the time and actual
    effort to generate a great article? but what can I say?
    I put things off a whole lot and never seem to get anything

    Also visit my blog post: Muama Translator Cost

  34. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know
    so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or
    something. I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a
    bit, but other than that, this is fantastic blog.

    An excellent read. I will definitely be back.

    my site … Dentitox Pro Review

  35. Wow, superb blog structure! How long have you ever
    been blogging for? you made running a blog look easy.
    The whole glance of your site is magnificent, as neatly as
    the content!

    My webpage Vital Max XL Pills

  36. Hey there, You have performed an incredible job. I will certainly
    digg it and for my part suggest to my friends. I’m confident they will be benefited from this site.

    Visit my blog post: Elite Burn Keto Review

  37. I feel this is among the such a lot important information for me.
    And i’m happy reading your article. But should remark
    on some general things, The website style is ideal, the articles is truly excellent : D.

    Good activity, cheers

    Feel free to surf to my web page –

  38. Hi, Neat post. There is an issue with your site in internet explorer, could check
    this… IE nonetheless is the marketplace chief and a huge component of other
    people will leave out your magnificent writing due to this problem.

    Feel free to surf to my homepage :: Leaf Boss CBD Review

  39. First off I want to say wonderful blog! I had a quick question that I’d like
    to ask if you do not mind. I was interested to find out how
    you center yourself and clear your mind before writing. I have had a difficult time clearing my thoughts in getting my thoughts out there.
    I do enjoy writing however it just seems like the first 10 to
    15 minutes are generally lost just trying
    to figure out how to begin. Any ideas or hints? Many thanks!

    Here is my homepage

  40. Hey there! I know this is kinda off topic nevertheless I’d figured I’d ask.
    Would you be interested in trading links or maybe guest
    writing a blog post or vice-versa? My blog goes over a lot of the same subjects as yours and I think we could greatly benefit from each other.
    If you happen to be interested feel free to send me an e-mail.
    I look forward to hearing from you! Awesome
    blog by the way!

    my homepage: Bionic Ultrasonic Pest Repeller Cost

  41. Excellent goods from you, man. I have understand
    your stuff previous to and you are just too wonderful. I really
    like what you have acquired here, certainly like what
    you are stating and the way in which you say it. You make it enjoyable
    and you still take care of to keep it wise. I cant
    wait to read much more from you. This is really a great web site.

    my web site; Leaf Boss Gummies Review

  42. I was curious if you ever considered changing
    the layout of your blog? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say.
    But maybe you could a little more in the way of content
    so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having one or 2 pictures.
    Maybe you could space it out better?

    Also visit my web-site :: Alpha Hotrod Reviews

  43. I like the valuable info you supply for your articles.
    I will bookmark your blog and take a look at again right here frequently.
    I am reasonably sure I will learn plenty of new stuff proper
    here! Best of luck for the next!

    my blog post; Radical Slim Keto Reviews

  44. Heya i am for the primary time here. I found this board and I in finding It truly helpful & it
    helped me out much. I hope to present one thing again and aid others like you helped me.

    Here is my page … Allura Fresh

  45. Hello there! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be ok.
    I’m absolutely enjoying your blog and look forward to new updates.

    Here is my web page … Leaf Max CBD Oil

  46. Everything is very open with a precise clarification of
    the challenges. It was truly informative. Your site is useful.
    Many thanks for sharing!

  47. Hi there! Do you know if they make any plugins to
    protect against hackers? I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything
    I’ve worked hard on. Any recommendations?

    Here is my web blog :: MosqiStop Reviews

  48. I will immediately grasp your rss as I can not to find
    your email subscription hyperlink or e-newsletter service.
    Do you have any? Please allow me recognise in order
    that I may just subscribe. Thanks.

    Also visit my homepage; Pharma Labs Keto Review

  49. Nice blog here! Also your web site loads up very fast!

    What web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host?
    I wish my site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

    my web page –

  50. Just wanna say that this is very helpful, Thanks for taking your time to write this.

    Also visit my blog post –

  51. This page really has all the info I needed about this subject and didn?t know who to ask.

    Have a look at my web site – Minnie

  52. I truly prize your piece of work, Great post.

    Also visit my web page – Vigra Fast

  53. I think this is one of the most vital information for me.
    And i’m satisfied studying your article. However want to statement on few general things, The web site style is perfect, the articles is in reality great :D.
    Just right process, cheers.

    My web-site; CoolBlast Portable AC

  54. My relatives every time say that I am wasting my time here
    at net, however I know I am getting knowledge every day by
    reading thes nice content.

    Check out my blog post

  55. My brother suggested I might like this web site.
    He used to be totally right. This submit truly made my
    day. You cann’t consider just how a lot time I had spent for this information! Thanks!

    My webpage: Brilliance Keto Pills

  56. Great website you have here but I was curious about if you knew of any user discussion forums that cover the same topics talked about in this article?
    I’d really like to be a part of group where I can get opinions from other knowledgeable individuals that share the same interest.

    If you have any recommendations, please let me know. Appreciate it!

    Check out my blog post Re ViVium

  57. Excellent weblog here! Additionally your web site quite a bit up fast!

    What web host are you the usage of? Can I am getting your associate
    link in your host? I wish my website loaded up as fast as yours

    Check out my web-site Artctic Box Air Conditioning

  58. At this time it sounds like Expression Engine is the preferred blogging
    platform out there right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you’re
    using on your blog?

    Look at my page – Arlen

  59. You’re so awesome! I don’t believe I have read something like this
    before. So wonderful to find another person with a few original thoughts on this topic.

    Really.. thanks for starting this up. This site is something that is required on the web,
    someone with a little originality!

    Also visit my web-site; Yoni Pur Reviews

  60. An intriguing discussion is definitely worth comment.

    There’s no doubt that that you ought to publish more about this topic, it
    may not be a taboo subject but usually folks
    don’t discuss such issues. To the next! Many thanks!!

    Feel free to visit my homepage: Infinity CBD

  61. Hey! Someone in my Myspace group shared this site with
    us so I came to take a look. I’m definitely enjoying the information. I’m bookmarking and will be tweeting
    this to my followers! Great blog and excellent style
    and design.

    My web page:

  62. Nice read, I just passed this onto a friend who was doing some research on that.
    And he just bought me lunch because I found it for
    him smile So let me rephrase that: Thanks for lunch!

    Feel free to visit my page :: increase testosterone levels

  63. We are a gaggle of volunteers and starting a brand new scheme in our community.
    Your site offered us with valuable info to work on. You’ve performed an impressive
    job and our whole neighborhood can be thankful to you.

    Also visit my blog; man skin care

  64. I’ve been exploring for a little bit for any high-quality articles or weblog posts in this sort of space .

    Exploring in Yahoo I at last stumbled upon this website.

    Reading this info So i’m glad to exhibit that I’ve an incredibly good uncanny feeling I came upon exactly what I
    needed. I so much certainly will make certain to do not disregard this web site and provides it a look

    Take a look at my homepage; fad diets

  65. Please let me know if you’re looking for a article writer
    for your weblog. You have some really good articles and I think I
    would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d
    absolutely love to write some material for
    your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please send me an email if interested.

    My webpage ::

  66. I think that is among the most vital info for me. And i am
    glad reading your article. But should remark on some common things, The site style
    is perfect, the articles is in point of fact nice : D.
    Just right task, cheers

    Feel free to surf to my webpage; low-carb diet

  67. This is really interesting, You’re a very skilled blogger.
    I’ve joined your rss feed and look forward to seeking more of your wonderful post.
    Also, I have shared your website in my social networks!

    Here is my website – best acne skin care

  68. I want to show thanks to you just for bailing me out of this particular problem.

    Because of surfing around throughout the world-wide-web and finding notions
    which were not beneficial, I figured my entire life was well over.

    Existing devoid of the solutions to the difficulties you have
    solved by means of your main report is a critical case, as well as ones that could
    have in a wrong way affected my career if I hadn’t encountered your blog post.
    That ability and kindness in controlling almost everything was very helpful.
    I am not sure what I would’ve done if I hadn’t come upon such a subject like this.
    I’m able to now look forward to my future. Thanks a lot very much for
    your high quality and effective help. I won’t think twice to propose your web blog to anybody who desires assistance
    about this subject matter.

    Here is my blog post; omega 3 rich foods

  69. I enjoy you because of your whole work on this blog. Kate enjoys making time for
    investigations and it’s really simple to grasp why. Most of us hear all of the powerful way you make informative
    ideas via this website and as well as encourage
    response from some other people on the subject then our favorite princess is discovering so much.
    Take advantage of the rest of the year. You are doing a stunning job.[X-N-E-W-L-I-N-S-P-I-N-X]I’m extremely inspired along with your
    writing skills and also with the format on your blog.
    Is this a paid subject matter or did you customize it yourself?
    Either way keep up the excellent high quality writing,
    it’s uncommon to see a nice blog like this one these days.

    My web site – Ellis

  70. of course like your website however you have to check the spelling on several of your posts.
    Several of them are rife with spelling issues and I in finding it very troublesome to
    inform the truth nevertheless I’ll definitely come back again.

    Feel free to surf to my web site :: build muscle

  71. hi!,I like your writing so so much! share we be
    in contact more about your post on AOL? I need an expert in this area to
    solve my problem. Maybe that is you! Looking forward
    to see you.

    Feel free to visit my page build muscle diet

  72. I simply wanted to thank you one more time for this
    amazing web page you have created here. It is full of useful tips for those who are really interested in this particular subject, especially this very post.

    Your all absolutely sweet plus thoughtful of others and also reading your website
    posts is a great delight to me. And such a generous present!

    Tom and I will certainly have enjoyment making use of your
    tips in what we have to do in a few days.
    Our list is a distance long and tips will certainly be put to great use.

    Here is my web site – rapid weight loss

  73. Keep functioning ,splendid job!

    Stop by my web-site … Kaitlyn

  74. I wanted to check up and allow you to know how much
    I appreciated discovering this blog today. I
    might consider it an honor to operate at my office and be able to
    make real use of the tips provided on your site and also engage
    in visitors’ reviews like this. Should a position of guest publisher become available at your end, make sure you let me know.

    Here is my web site ::

  75. I have read a few excellent stuff here. Definitely worth bookmarking for revisiting.

    I surprise how so much effort you set to make this kind of wonderful informative website.

    My site ::

  76. Article writing is also a fun, if you be familiar with afterward you can write or else it
    is complicated to write.

    Also visit my web-site: robert atkins

  77. I got what you intend,bookmarked, very nice website.

    Take a look at my web-site: great sex

  78. I don’t leave many comments, but i did some searching and wound up here Dating Wisely
    1.25: Study The Family Projection Process, Part 5 | Whole Heart Counseling Services.
    And I do have a couple of questions for you
    if it’s allright. Could it be just me or does it look
    like a few of the remarks come across as if they are coming from brain dead folks?
    😛 And, if you are posting at additional online
    social sites, I’d like to follow everything new you have to
    post. Would you make a list of all of your communal pages like your linkedin profile, Facebook page or twitter feed?

    Here is my web-site –

  79. Good day I am so glad I found your webpage, I really found you by mistake, while I was browsing on Yahoo for
    something else, Anyhow I am here now and would just like to say cheers for a incredible post and a all round
    entertaining blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to read it all at
    the minute but I have bookmarked it and also added your RSS feeds, so when I have time
    I will be back to read a great deal more, Please do keep up
    the awesome job.

    My page …

  80. What’s up, for all time i used to check weblog posts here in the early hours in the dawn, since i like
    to gain knowledge of more and more.

    Here is my blog …

  81. Hello colleagues, how is the whole thing, and what you wish for to say about this paragraph,
    in my view its really amazing in support of me.

    Also visit my blog –

  82. This is a very good tip particularly to those fresh to the blogosphere.
    Brief but very precise info? Thank you for sharing this one.

    A must read post!

    my webpage –

  83. Hi there, the whole thing is going perfectly here and ofcourse
    every one is sharing information, that’s genuinely fine, keep up writing.

    Feel free to visit my web site – healthy eating pyramid

  84. Pretty! This was an extremely wonderful
    article. Thanks for supplying this info.

    My web page … carb cycling

  85. Quality posts is the main to interest the visitors to go to see the website, that’s what this website is providing.

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published.