A Paradigm Shift

I mentioned in yesterday’s post that we may owe credit to the emotional process in society that we now call Feminism for a paradigm shift that may take us to an emergent reality in intimate relationships. Let’s keep in mind, however, that evolutionary movements happen at an alarmingly slow, practically imperceptible, rate—which means I won’t live to see what I believe can happen. But I can still do my part to spread the hope!

To that end, let me expand on a statement I made yesterday: “We have the opportunity to make peace with each other by appreciating and seeking out the differences in the intangible energy we bring to relationship.” This intangible energy continuum can be named in a variety of ways. Some call it masculine/feminine; some refer to it as left brain/right brain. In 1907, Philosopher William James referred to it as tough-minded/tender-minded.

Tough-Minded and Tender-Hearted

James identified the two ends of this binary to be a fundamental and irresolvable clash between two ways of thinking. True that. It’s a pretty good characterization of the battle of the sexes, with most men falling on the tough-minded side of the continuum, and most women falling on the tender-hearted side. While that’s a gross generalization, I realize, it does characterize most couples—heterosexual or not. Opposites attract, for better or worse.

If we’re going to emerge into a new, better reality, we’re going to have to make peace with those on the other side of the binary, the folks that we find ____________________. Fill in that blank and you have the reason why the battle of the sexes continues so hotly. Both sides fill in that blank in the same way, and both then try to shame the other out of thinking the way they do.

Imagine a world where there are only tough-minded folks. If you think patriarchalism is a bad deal, imagine it without any moderating influence of the tender-hearted. Now imagine a world where there are only tender-hearted folks, matriarchalism, with no moderating influence of the tough-minded. That picture isn’t any better, if you ask me.

Reconciling Opposites

Imagine what would happen instead, though, if both sides put down the sword for a minute, and simply accepted that the other way of thinking is just that: a different way of thinking. It’s not morally inferior, or unintelligent, or wrong. It’s just the way the universe is arranged. We need to reconcile opposites by accepting that they just are, and then trying to understand the other. If we were to do that, we could emerge into a whole different emotional process in society…a truly progressive one in which the two ways of thinking value what the other brings to the table.

Let’s take this into a practical arena—dating—and let use my relationship with Brad as an example. Like many couples, Brad and I tend to fall on stereotypical sides of this continuum. He’s tough-minded and I’m tender-hearted. It just is. We identified this as an unresolvable issue when we made a list of our perpetual problems one day, and we did this so that we would simply stop arguing about things on this continuum. He can’t change my nature, and I can’t change his, so we don’t try anymore. In our more emotionally mature moments, we even seek one another out for a view from the other side of the continuum.

Brad likes to say that solving the tough-minded/tender-hearted dilemma is a matter of choosing which to use and when. I like to say that in every situation, we have to be thoughtful about what balance of each to use. See? We can’t even agree on that, even though we pretty much mean the same thing. His is a more black-and-white way of framing the solution, and mine’s more gray. And we still love each other.

Human (R)Evolution

I may not gain popularity points with Fourth Wave Feminists by saying so, but I’m afraid we need to look beyond the Feminist Revolution to a time when men and women work together, not against each other, for the stability of human society. We need to look at long-term solutions, not just stop-gap measures, and envision a new way of being in which the sexes no longer battle or vie for power over one another. We need to value the various kinds of solidity each brings to the team effort of social progression. We need the next human (r)evolutionary emergence.

Tomorrow, we’ll bring this philosophical conversation back to earth again, right down to the table with your next date.

Recommended Posts

2,833 Comments

  1. Everything is very open with a really clear clarification of the challenges. It was really informative. Your site is very useful. Many thanks for sharing! Daffie Gaelan Serrell

  2. Good going, Ajoy! Very interesting to read and know about wine making! Alexi Graehme Tristam

  3. Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wished to say that I have truly enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. After all I will be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon! Pearla Ad Grannias

  4. please pay a visit to the web-sites we comply with, including this one particular, as it represents our picks through the web Kania Tom Roxana

  5. I will recommend your beautiful post site to my friends Maiga Felike Mika

  6. Utterly composed content , thanks for information . Jammie Care Marta

  7. Hello there. I found your website by means of Google while searching for a related matter, your site got here up. It appears to be great. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to come back then. Lauraine Nikola Almire

  8. These medical practitioners are urged to constantly engage in these research activities and learn of these technologies. Dental emergencies courses are basic life support, legal and ethical aspects of the dental hygiene practice, and supervised instruction in pre-clinical and clinical practice. Kids below 9 years old typically find it difficult to swallow tablets. Veronica Natale Sida

  9. This is a sample comment. University is the best theme for education and training organization. Michaeline Barry Tertias

  10. Have you ever thought about writing an e-book or guest authoring on other sites?
    I have a blog based on the same ideas you discuss
    and would love to have you share some stories/information.
    I know my subscribers would enjoy your work. If you are even remotely interested, feel free to shoot me
    an email.

  11. І simply couldn’t ɗepart your websitе
    prior tto ѕuggesting that I really loved the standard informаtionn an individuaⅼ supply on your visitors?

    Is gonma be again often іin οrder to investigate cross-check new
    posts

  12. hi!,I like your writing very so much! proportion we be in contact more about your post on AOL?
    I need a specialist on this space to solve my problem.

    May be that is you! Looking ahead to see you.

  13. Woѡ, fantɑstic blog format! How long have you ever been blogging for?

    you made runnіng a bⅼoog loⲟk eaѕy. Thе entire gglance of your site is wonderfսl,
    ass eatly as the content materiаl!

  14. I am really thankful to the owner of this web page who has shared this enormous
    piece of writing at at this time.

  15. Good wɑy of describing, and good articⅼe to take information about my presentation subject,
    which i aam going to present in college.

  16. Good day! I know this is kinda off topic however I’d figured
    I’d ask. Would you be interested in trading links or maybe
    guest authoring a blog article or vice-versa? My blog goes over a lot of the same topics as yours and I think we could greatly benefit from each other.
    If you happen to be interested feel free to send me an email.
    I look forward to hearing from you! Superb blog by the way!

  17. My spouse and I stumbled over here by a different page and thought I
    may as well check things out. I like what I see so now i am following you.

    Look forward to going over your web page repeatedly.

  18. It’s amazing for me to have a web page, which is good for my
    knowledge. thanks admin

  19. Just desire to say your article is as astounding. The clarity in your
    submit is simply nice and i could suppose you
    are knowledgeable in this subject. Well together with your permission allow me to clutch your RSS
    feed to stay updated with impending post. Thank you
    1,000,000 and please keep up the gratifying work.

  20. An interesting discussion is worth comment. I do believe that you ought to
    write more about this issue, it may not be a taboo matter but
    generally people don’t discuss these topics. To the next! All the best!!

  21. Hi there! I know this is kinda off topic nevertheless I’d figured I’d ask.
    Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe guest writing a blog article or
    vice-versa? My blog discusses a lot of the same subjects as yours
    and I feel we could greatly benefit from each other. If you
    happen to be interested feel free to shoot me an e-mail.
    I look forward to hearing from you! Awesome blog by the way!

  22. There is certainly a lot to know about this issue.
    I really like all of the points you have made.

  23. Excellent weblog here! Additionally your web
    site quite a bit up fast! What host are you using? Can I get your affiliate hyperlink
    on your host? I desire my website loaded up as quickly as yours lol

  24. Hurrah! In the end I got a blog from where I be able to truly obtain valuable
    facts concerning my study and knowledge.

  25. Pretty! This has been a really wonderful article. Many thanks
    for providing this info.

  26. I am really enjoying the theme/design of your blog.

    Do you ever run into any browser compatibility problems?
    A small number of my blog audience have complained about my blog not
    working correctly in Explorer but looks great
    in Safari. Do you have any suggestions to help fix this
    problem?

  27. Sweet blog! I found it while browsing on Yahoo News.
    Do you have any suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo News?
    I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there!
    Thank you

  28. Hello there, I believe your website may be having web browser compatibility problems.

    When I take a look at your site in Safari, it looks fine however, if opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping issues.
    I simply wanted to give you a quick heads up! Aside from that, fantastic website!

  29. My coder is trying to persuade me to move
    to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of
    the costs. But he’s tryiong none the less.
    I’ve been using WordPress on a variety of websites for about a year and am worried about switching to another platform.

    I have heard good things about blogengine.net. Is there a
    way I can transfer all my wordpress content into it?
    Any kind of help would be really appreciated!

  30. Greetings! Very useful advice in this particular article!
    It’s the little changes that make the most significant changes.
    Many thanks for sharing!

  31. tadalafil flaccid size

  32. Howdy! Quick question that’s completely off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile
    friendly? My website looks weird when browsing from my iphone4.

    I’m trying to find a template or plugin that might be able
    to correct this issue. If you have any recommendations, please share.
    Appreciate it! quest bars http://bitly.com/3C2tkMR quest bars

  33. Hi there, I found your site by the use of Google while looking
    for a related subject, your website got here up, it looks good.
    I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
    Hello there, simply changed into aware of your blog thru Google, and found that
    it’s truly informative. I’m gonna be careful
    for brussels. I’ll be grateful in case you proceed this in future.
    Numerous other folks will be benefited from your writing.
    Cheers! scoliosis surgery https://0401mm.tumblr.com/ scoliosis surgery

  34. After looking into a number of the blog articles on your web
    site, I honestly appreciate your way of blogging. I book-marked
    it to my bookmark site list and will be checking back in the near future.

    Please check out my website too and tell me how you feel.
    cheap flights http://1704milesapart.tumblr.com/ cheap flights

  35. I will right away seize your rss feed as I can not find your email subscription hyperlink
    or newsletter service. Do you’ve any? Please permit me recognize in order that I may subscribe.

    Thanks. quest bars https://www.iherb.com/search?kw=quest%20bars quest bars

  36. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog
    and was curious what all is required to get set up?

    I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny?

    I’m not very web smart so I’m not 100% sure. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated.
    Kudos scoliosis surgery https://coub.com/stories/962966-scoliosis-surgery scoliosis surgery

  37. Viagra Comment Marche

  38. Pretty section of content. I just stumbled upon your website and in accession capital to assert that I get actually enjoyed account your blog posts.
    Any way I will be subscribing to your feeds and even I achievement
    you access consistently quickly.

  39. Hi there superb blog! Does running a blog similar to this take a great deal of work? I’ve very little knowledge of programming but I had been hoping to start my own blog soon. Anyhow, if you have any suggestions or techniques for new blog owners please share. I understand this is off topic but I simply had to ask. Many thanks!|

  40. Wow! Finally I got a weblog from where I know how to really get useful data regarding my study and knowledge.|

  41. Hello there! Do you know if they make any plugins to safeguard against hackers?
    I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve worked
    hard on. Any recommendations?

  42. Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to more added agreeable from you! However, how can we communicate?|

  43. I relish, lead to I discovered just what I was having a look for. You have ended my 4 day lengthy hunt! God Bless you man. Have a great day. Bye|

  44. Usually I do not read article on blogs, however I would like to say that this write-up very pressured me to take a look at and do so! Your writing taste has been surprised me. Thank you, quite great post.|

  45. Pretty portion of content. I just stumbled upon your site and
    in accession capital to assert that I acquire actually
    loved account your blog posts. Anyway I will be subscribing for your feeds and even I success you get entry to persistently rapidly.

  46. I have read so many articles or reviews concerning the blogger lovers but this post is genuinely a pleasant post, keep it up.|

  47. Do you mind if I quote a few of your articles as long as I provide credit and sources back to your blog? My blog site is in the very same area of interest as yours and my users would definitely benefit from a lot of the information you present here. Please let me know if this okay with you. Many thanks!|

  48. If you would like to take much from this piece of writing then you have to apply these strategies to your won weblog.|

  49. If you are going for best contents like myself, only pay a quick visit this website all the time for the reason that it gives feature contents, thanks|

  50. Hello it’s me, I am also visiting this web page on a regular basis, this website is in fact fastidious and the users are truly sharing fastidious thoughts.|

  51. Achat Tadalafil Suisse

  52. Levitra Generique Pas Cher En Ligne

  53. Prix Xenical En Pharmacie

  54. Propecia Low Sperm Count Medication

  55. I’m not sure where you are getting your info, but good topic. I needs to spend some time learning more or understanding more. Thanks for excellent info I was looking for this info for my mission.|

  56. Hey would you mind letting me know which web host you’re utilizing? I’ve loaded your blog in 3 different browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot faster then most. Can you suggest a good web hosting provider at a reasonable price? Kudos, I appreciate it!|

  57. It’s appropriate time to make some plans for the future and it’s time to be happy. I have read this post and if I could I want to suggest you some interesting things or advice. Perhaps you could write next articles referring to this article. I wish to read even more things about it!|

  58. You can certainly see your enthusiasm in the article you write. The sector hopes for more passionate writers like you who aren’t afraid to say how they believe. Always follow your heart.|

  59. This is the perfect web site for everyone who hopes to find out about this topic. You know a whole lot its almost hard to argue with you (not that I actually will need to…HaHa). You definitely put a new spin on a subject that’s been written about for many years. Wonderful stuff, just wonderful!|

  60. If some one wants to be updated with most up-to-date technologies therefore he
    must be visit this web site and be up to date all the time.

  61. What’s up to every body, it’s my first go to see of this blog; this webpage includes remarkable and genuinely excellent stuff designed for readers.|

  62. What’s Happening i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I’ve discovered It positively useful and it has aided me out loads. I hope to give a contribution & help different users like its aided me. Good job.|

  63. Everything is very open with a very clear description of the issues. It was really informative. Your website is extremely helpful. Thank you for sharing!|

  64. Please let me know if you’re looking for a author for your site. You have some really great posts and I believe I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d love to write some articles for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please send me an e-mail if interested. Kudos!|

  65. whoah this blog is magnificent i like studying your posts. Stay up the great work! You recognize, a lot of people are looking round for this info, you can help them greatly. |

  66. Great blog here! Also your site loads up fast! What host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my web site loaded up as quickly as yours lol|

  67. Quality content is the important to be a focus for the people to go to see the site, that’s what this site is providing.|

  68. I am genuinely glad to glance at this webpage posts which consists of plenty of valuable facts, thanks for providing these information.|

  69. Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you writing this post plus the rest of the site
    is also really good.

  70. Hello! Someone in my Myspace group shared this site with us so I came to check it out. I’m definitely enjoying the information. I’m book-marking and will be tweeting this to my followers! Great blog and great design and style.|

  71. Thanks for sharing your thoughts about meta_keyword. Regards|

  72. Thanks for your personal marvelous posting! I actually enjoyed reading it, you are a great author. I will make sure to bookmark your blog and will come back in the foreseeable future. I want to encourage one to continue your great work, have a nice weekend!|

  73. Hello there, just turned into alert to your blog through Google, and found that it is really informative. I’m gonna watch out for brussels. I’ll be grateful for those who proceed this in future. A lot of folks will probably be benefited out of your writing. Cheers!|

  74. I’m not sure where you are getting your information, but good topic. I needs to spend some time learning more or understanding more. Thanks for fantastic info I was looking for this information for my mission.|

  75. Hello just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The text in your article seem to be running off the screen in Internet explorer. I’m not sure if this is a formatting issue or something to do with web browser compatibility but I figured I’d post to let you know. The design look great though! Hope you get the problem resolved soon. Kudos|

  76. of course like your website but you have to check the spelling on several of your posts. Many of them are rife with spelling problems and I to find it very troublesome to tell the truth on the other hand I will surely come again again.|

  77. What’s up Dear, are you truly visiting this website regularly, if so afterward you will definitely take nice experience.|

  78. It’s truly a great and useful piece of information. I’m glad that you just shared this helpful info with us. Please stay us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.|

  79. This post is genuinely a pleasant one it assists new web users, who are wishing in favor of blogging.|

  80. Fabulous, what a website it is! This website gives useful data to us, keep it up.|

  81. Remarkable issues here. I am very glad to see your article. Thanks so much and I am looking ahead to contact you. Will you kindly drop me a mail?|

  82. Hi, this weekend is pleasant in support of me, because this time i am
    reading this impressive informative piece of writing here at
    my home.

  83. Hey there! Someone in my Facebook group shared this website with us so I came to check it out. I’m definitely loving the information. I’m book-marking and will be tweeting this to my followers! Exceptional blog and excellent style and design.|

  84. I was recommended this web site by means of my cousin. I’m not certain whether or not this put up is written by him as nobody else realize such exact about my trouble. You are amazing! Thanks!

  85. I have been surfing on-line greater than three hours as of late, but I never discovered
    any fascinating article like yours. It’s beautiful price enough for me.
    In my opinion, if all webmasters and bloggers
    made just right content as you probably did, the web will probably be a lot
    more helpful than ever before.

  86. I know this site gives quality depending articles and extra information, is there any other web page which offers such information in quality?

  87. Wonderful website you have here but I was wanting to know if you
    knew of any forums that cover the same topics discussed in this article?
    I’d really like to be a part of group where I can get
    suggestions from other experienced individuals that share the
    same interest. If you have any recommendations, please let me know.
    Appreciate it!

  88. If you are going for most excellent contents like me, just pay a visit this website daily because it presents feature contents, thanks|

  89. I visited many websites however the audio feature for audio songs current at this
    website is in fact excellent.

  90. Hey there just wanted to give you a quick heads up.

    The text in your post seem to be running off the screen in Ie.
    I’m not sure if this is a formatting issue or something to do with internet browser compatibility but I thought
    I’d post to let you know. The layout look great
    though! Hope you get the problem resolved soon. Cheers

  91. I am sure this post has touched all the internet people,
    its really really nice piece of writing on building up new webpage.

  92. Hello, its nice post on the topic of media print, we all be familiar with
    media is a wonderful source of facts.

  93. Ahaa, its pleasant dialogue on the topic of this paragraph at this
    place at this webpage, I have read all that, so now me also commenting at this place.

  94. tadalafil online daily cialis cialis canada generic

  95. Greetings! Very helpful advice in this particular article!
    It’s the little changes that make the most important changes.
    Thanks for sharing!

  96. You can definitely see your skills in the article you write. The sector hopes for even more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid to say how they believe. All the time go after your heart.|

  97. Howdy! This is kind of off topic but I need some advice from an established blog. Is it difficult to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty quick. I’m thinking about setting up my own but I’m not sure where to begin. Do you have any ideas or suggestions? Cheers|

  98. Hi, I do think this is an excellent web site. I stumbledupon it 😉 I am going
    to revisit once again since I saved as a
    favorite it. Money and freedom is the greatest way to change, may you be
    rich and continue to help other people.

  99. It’s appropriate time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy.
    I’ve read this post and if I could I desire to
    suggest you some interesting things or tips. Perhaps you can write next articles referring to
    this article. I want to read more things about it!

  100. viagra online sildenafil 20mg sildenafil 100mg cost

  101. I love what you guys tend to be up too. This kind of clever work and coverage!
    Keep up the awesome works guys I’ve included you guys to our
    blogroll.

  102. Please let me know if you’re looking for a article writer for your site. You have some really great posts and I feel I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d love to write some content for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please send me an e-mail if interested. Cheers!|

  103. Hello very cool site!! Guy .. Excellent .. Amazing .. I’ll bookmark your website and take the feeds additionally? I’m satisfied to find a lot of useful information here in the post, we’d like develop more strategies on this regard, thanks for sharing. . . . . .|

  104. alternative to viagra cvs viagra viagra drug

  105. I simply couldn’t leave your web site before suggesting that I extremely loved the usual
    information an individual supply for your guests? Is going to be again regularly in order
    to check up on new posts

  106. sildenafil cheapest price whats viagra sildenafil medication cost

  107. cheap sildenafil 100mg cost of viagra compare sildenafil prices

  108. viagra buy viagra pro generic sildenafil usa

  109. Greetings from Florida! I’m bored at work so I decided to check out your website on my iphone during lunch break. I enjoy the knowledge you present here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home. I’m shocked at how quick your blog loaded on my mobile .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, good blog!|

  110. hi!,I like your writing very much! percentage we be in contact extra about your post on AOL? I require a specialist in this area to resolve my problem. May be that’s you! Taking a look forward to peer you. |

  111. Terrific work! This is the kind of information that are meant to be shared across the net. Disgrace on Google for now not positioning this post higher! Come on over and seek advice from my web site . Thanks =)|