Build Mastery

We continue a series on how to effectively manage emotions, so that we can engage more thoughtfully in relationship. All of the skills we discuss are designed to support the ultimate goal of wisdom (see post titled, “Emotion Regulation 1.0”).

For several posts, we looked at various mindfulness (awareness) skills; next we covered several distress tolerance (crisis management/survival) skills; then we looked at a few interpersonal effectiveness (assertiveness) skills. A couple days ago, we began covering four emotion regulations skills. Today’s skill: build mastery. Do something that makes you feel good about yourself and makes you feel in control and confident.


Of course, that means you’ll have to take the time and put in the practice to learn how to do something well. About six months ago, I took my first pottery course. Many of the students were seasoned potters, but what I was spinning out was spinning out of control. But I really wanted to make something I wanted to keep, so I stuck with the process, attending as many open studio sessions as I could. By the time Christmas rolled around, I had improved my skills enough to make at least one gift for everyone that didn’t look like a third grader did it for art class.

Any skill you want to master takes time. I’ll probably never be a master potter. In fact, I’ve attempted several creative endeavors that I’ve enjoyed, only to get to the point where I realize that it’ll take a lot more practice than I have time for to earn the skill level I want, so I allow myself to be satisfied with what I’ve accomplished and move on. I’m content with having tried something and learned that it isn’t impossible.

The Process, Not the Outcome

It’s the process, not the outcome, that matters most. Build mastery. The act of building, of learning, of improving is what increases confidence. The first time I tried, I couldn’t even center a pound of clay on the pottery wheel. Now I don’t even have to think when I center the clay; it almost happens of it’s own accord. But getting to that point took several steps and a lot of botched attempts. As I was learning by trial and error–mostly error–I found out that closing my eyes helped me to center the clay. I had to feel through the process.

Feel Through It

What are you trying to master? Metaphorically speaking, would it help to close your eyes and feel through it? Drop down into your core and see if you can dip into the deep pool of wisdom you have there. Can you listen to what your soul has to say about this thing you want to master?

How about these emotion regulation skills–are you willing to put in the time and effort to master them? How much time are you willing to give yourself until they become your new default? Would the rest of your life be too long? Are you willing to give yourself the gift of patience, kindness and compassion while you learn them? Does the core of wisdom inside you have the energy and intuitive knowing that can help you put them into practice when you need them most?

If you purpose to master these skills, I can guarantee you won’t regret it, and you’ll wear the confidence you build in all your relationships. Your loved ones will want what you have! You can’t fail if you stick with the process and learn from your mistakes.

Recommended Posts


  1. Its not my first time to visit this site, i am visiting this web
    site dailly and get nice information from here every day.

  2. If you are going for finest contents like me, just pay
    a quick visit this site daily since it offers quality contents, thanks

    Here is my homepage

  3. This website was… how do you say it? Relevant!! Finally
    I’ve found something that helped me. Kudos!

  4. Hiya! Quick question that’s entirely off topic. Do you know how
    to make your site mobile friendly? My site looks weird when viewing from my iphone4.
    I’m trying to find a template or plugin that might be able to resolve this problem.
    If you have any suggestions, please share. Thanks!

    Look into my webpage MetaboFix Reviews

  5. If you want to grow your experience just keep visiting this web page and be updated with the most recent news posted here.

    My homepage – Boltz Pro Review

  6. This piece of writing will help the internet people for setting up new web site or even a weblog from start to end.

    Also visit my site; Santo

  7. Woah! I’m really digging the template/theme of this site.
    It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s tough to get that “perfect balance” between usability and visual
    appeal. I must say that you’ve done a superb job with this.
    Also, the blog loads extremely quick for me on Chrome. Excellent

  8. Hey would you mind stating which blog platform you’re using?

    I’m looking to start my own blog in the near future but I’m having a hard time selecting between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal.
    The reason I ask is because your design seems different
    then most blogs and I’m looking for something unique.
    P.S Sorry for getting off-topic but I had to ask!

    Review my page :: Nuubu

  9. bookmarked!!, I love your blog!

  10. Great ? I should definitely pronounce, impressed with your website.
    I had no trouble navigating through all the tabs as well
    as related information ended up being truly easy to do to
    access. I recently found what I hoped for before
    you know it in the least. Reasonably unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or something,
    website theme . a tones way for your customer to communicate.
    Excellent task.

    My web page; EcoCel Gas Saver

  11. Oh my goodness! Impressive article dude! Many thanks,
    However I am experiencing issues with your RSS.

    I don?t know why I cannot subscribe to it.
    Is there anyone else getting the same RSS issues? Anyone who knows the solution will you kindly respond?

    Here is my webpage :: U Slim X Keto Reviews

  12. Link exchange is nothing else except it is only placing the other person’s weblog link on your page at suitable place and other person will also
    do similar in favor of you.

    Also visit my homepage: Metabo Fix

  13. My relatives all the time say that I am wasting my time here at web, but I
    know I am getting familiarity every day by reading thes good articles or reviews.

  14. fantastic issues altogether, you just won a new
    reader. What might you recommend about your put up that you just made
    some days in the past? Any sure?

    Also visit my web page … Chillbox Portable AC

  15. Actually when someone doesn’t understand then its up to other people that they will assist, so here it happens.

    Also visit my homepage; Isabelle

  16. Greetings from Colorado! I’m bored to tears at work so I decided to
    browse your website on my iphone during lunch break.
    I enjoy the info you present here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home.

    I’m shocked at how quick your blog loaded on my mobile ..

    I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyways, great blog!

  17. I pay a visit every day some web sites and information sites to read articles or reviews,
    except this web site gives feature based posts.

    my site ::

  18. Oh my goodness! Awesome article dude! Thank you so much, However I
    am having troubles with your RSS. I don?t know why I cannot join it.
    Is there anyone else having similar RSS problems? Anybody who
    knows the solution will you kindly respond? Thanx!!

    Also visit my site … Air Cooler Pro Breeze

  19. I am extremely impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your weblog.
    Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself?
    Either way keep up the excellent quality writing, it’s rare to see a great blog
    like this one today.

    Feel free to surf to my website ::

  20. I’m very pleased to find this website. I want
    to to thank you for your time just for this fantastic read!!

    I definitely savored every little bit of it and I have you book-marked to look at new things
    on your blog.

    Feel free to visit my webpage: Slimingo Keto Review

  21. You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but
    I find this topic to be really something
    which I think I would never understand. It seems too complex and very broad for me.
    I’m looking forward for your next post, I will try to get the hang of it!

  22. If some one wants expert view on the topic of running a blog then i propose him/her to go to see this website,
    Keep up the pleasant work.

    Feel free to surf to my web-site … Shayla

  23. you are in point of fact a just right webmaster. The web
    site loading speed is incredible. It kind of feels that you’re
    doing any unique trick. Moreover, The contents are masterwork.

    you have performed a fantastic activity in this subject!

    my page; Rhino Storm

  24. Wonderful goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you’re just extremely
    fantastic. I actually like what you have acquired here, really
    like what you’re saying and the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you
    still care for to keep it wise. I can not wait to read much more from you.
    This is really a terrific site.

    my web-site :: Bionic Ultrasonic Pest Repeller Review

  25. Awesome issues here. I’m very satisfied to see your article.

    Thank you a lot and I’m having a look forward to contact you.
    Will you kindly drop me a mail?

    Check out my web blog; Alpha Extracts CBD

  26. Hello there I am so thrilled I found your website, I really found you by
    accident, while I was researching on Aol for something else, Anyways I am here now and would just like to say thanks a lot for a remarkable post and a all round interesting blog (I also
    love the theme/design), I don’t have time to read through
    it all at the minute but I have book-marked it and also included your RSS
    feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read much more, Please do keep up the superb work.

    Look into my webpage … Solvolt Solar Charger

  27. Hello there! I know this is kinda off topic nevertheless I’d figured I’d
    ask. Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe guest writing a blog post or vice-versa?
    My blog covers a lot of the same subjects as yours and I feel we could greatly benefit
    from each other. If you happen to be interested feel free to send me an e-mail.
    I look forward to hearing from you! Wonderful blog
    by the way!

    Review my blog post; Nature Fused Anti Aging Cream Reviews

  28. whoah this blog is wonderful i really like reading your articles. Keep up the great paintings! You realize, a lot of people are hunting round for this info, you could help them greatly.

  29. sildenafil where can i buy viagra over the counter

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published.